we have another stone in our lives. its not ready to be piled with the others. its a little different than the rest, but it is going to require the same kind of things that the other ones did: faith that we have a Father who loves us passionately, provides for us, and protects us. what makes this stone different, is that its a family member we haven’t met yet.
if you can allow me to get reproductively personal, i haven’t ovulated in years. i started the process of managing it 3 months ago. my obgyn took some tests and told me that it looked like i might have polycystic ovarian syndrome and referred me to a reproductive specialist. because we have a growing community that is practicing being family we quickly invited them into the process with us.(as well as our extended families) i have come to the realization that Jesus is for life. the enemy is for death. i can trust that Jesus has come to bring me life, so if Jesus has come to bring me life, and to make all things new, he must have come to make my body new. and what is more new than a tiny being? one that is born into a community that is bringing in the kingdom of God together? does it sound like i’m being childish and a little foolish with my child-like faith? —good. 🙂 the beautiful part is that we have people praying for us. even emri. she prays for my belly all the time. she told me the other day that jesus will come in the clouds and she’d be looking for him for me. she also told me that when she saw him, he would put a baby in my belly. so we are hopeful. so hopeful, i want to believe i’m pregnant now! but maybe God is waiting to be gracious while i grow some roots. that would be like him. and i’m grateful for that. that’s my faith response to him. but as far as concrete plans go, monday i’m supposed to call this reproductive specialist, dr. stewart. we believe that Jesus knows our desires. i believe that our desires are his desires and that makes our prayers seem even more powerful. we feel like he’s been giving us lots of encouragement. at church last sunday, a friend of ours who has no idea about our situation, approached us during worship with a little piece of notebook paper that had been ripped out of his journal. he said that he felt like God wanted him to give it to us. on the paper it read, “God, your Father, knows the desires of his children.” he’s so real and alive, isn’t he?
recently, my sister e-mailed me a picture entitled, “i’m praying for this.”
this was the day before i had emri. holy cow! we had just closed on our house and we were painting and cheaply re-modeling the fastest we could. i’m not quite sure why it seemed necessary to pull my shirt up.