we are really doing it! i’m so excited.
last year ben and i went through a painful period. it just felt like dishelveled chaos. every time an event or special occasion would come around that would involve even the tiniest measure of preparation. we would, without fail, arrive late, disheveled, and sweaty. not to mention that our tiny, little home was left with debris everywhere. bless its little heart. little home, we have treated you so poorly.we would show up and forget the disorder of our home, even though we would bear the weight of it on our shoulders as we mingled. i don’t even think we realized it. every time i told myself, “never again. i cannot live this way.” but then ironically my “never again” was all the time. frankly, i just didn’t know how to get out of it. i didn’t even know where to start. i felt like there were things in life to really take in and enjoy, but i was too overwhelmed to enjoy the precious moments that seemed to keep slipping by. so thus began my search for sanity. one thing i knew: i needed to get organized.and i needed to know what i was supposed to be offering to the world around me. what have i been created to do? and unless i get organized, i will never do it.
summer 2010. i decided to go to a discipleship conference that really and truly was a divine intervention. so here is my “aha” moment. i can really learn from Jesus. i can really do things the way he did. in a variety of ways. there are many simple things my family is learning from him. but let’s start with one. (more to come). this one is my favorite. counter-intuitive as it may appear…
even the word itself is invigorating. we need rest. we weren’t created to run around like chickens with our heads cut off. although some people like to kid themselves into believing they can really do it all. pish posh. its costing you, or somebody something. and ironically, it’s probably coming at the expense of those dearest to us.
jesus rested. he rested in a rhythm. daily and weekly. he worked out of rest. and he worked knowing that he would return to rest. its the model he laid out for us. it makes so much sense.
so ben and i recognized we needed to guard a sabbath. we also needed little pockets of time to ourselves so we could be replenished. the goal of our time by ourselves: do whatever is life-giving! reading, writing, sleeping, getting a cup of coffee with a friend.. cleaning. whatever feels good at the time. do it. the time is yours. feast yourself in it. enjoy. that’s Jesus’s gift to us. why is it that religious people like to critique people who sin in the way of adultery and other miscellaneous sins, yet they themselves, sin by way of neglecting their rest. a good friend of mine said one time, “maybe if people guarded their rest more, there wouldn’t be as much adultery.” it makes sense.
so let me share with you the small steps my family has taken to lean into this whole blessed idea of rest.
sundays are our family days. i don’t cook. i don’t clean. we eat meals frozen in the freezer. we get lazy. we go out. we are together. its glorious. we can say no if it doesn’t feel life-giving. we’ve planned this day first. all plans come secondary.
sunday morning, ben takes emri from 7:00 am to 12:00. i get to do my own thing. and its splendid. they go on a date.
ben also has four hours of time he can use for whatever feels right to him during the week.
these little rhythms have changed everything. something so simple has the power to change the dynamics of everything. ben and i find that we love each other a little bit more…emri feels loved by her special date time with daddy. not to mention, we just have an increased capacity. let’s rest.