every once in a while, i get twinges of jealousy. i think there was a time in my life where i didn’t even recognize it. but now, the twinge is ridiculously obvious. now, i call it out. i have come to the point in my life where i do not tolerate jealousy. its toxic. i won’t allow it to stay. i felt jealous yesterday. and it kept resurfacing. whenever i feel it come back, i keep responding with this word. “gross” and then, “God, get it out.”
jealousy is horrible. why? because it makes you feel like you have been gyped of something valuable. i have not been gyped. you certainly have not been gyped. in any sense of the word. my story is different from those around me. and likewise, their stories differ from mine. and i can’t compare my stories with other people stories. those stories aren’t mine. furthermore, if i’m so concerned with someone else’s story, and the blessings they receive, and all they get to experience, i probably will lose sight of my story. and i most definitely will lose sight of what i have been given. and i just personally believe all of our stories are rich.
our stories cannot be measured by what possessions we have. (but our culture seems to convince us of this daily! oh how i wish our generation would take a revolt against all of this consumerism) can i share something i read this morning, that gave me perspective and started to heal my jealousy?
every hair on your head is counted. there is no need to be afraid.
and Jesus told a parable
“there was once a rich man who, having had a good harvest from his land, thought to himself, what am i to do? i have not enough room to store my crops. then he said, this is what i will do; i will pull down my barns and build bigger ones, and store all my grain and my good in them, and i will say to my soul:
soul, you have plenty of good things laid by for many years to come; take things easy, eat, drink, have a good time. but God said to him,”this very night the demand will be made for your soul; and this hoard of yours, whose will it be then? so it is when someone stores up treasure for himself and is not rich in the sight of God.
what does it mean to be rich in the sight of God?
i love the next part. jesus is speaking to the people, telling them not to worry. for they are taken care of. God does have a store house for them, if they would just let God clothe them and feed them.
then he said to his disciples, “that is why i am telling you not to worry about your life and what you are to eat, nor about your body and how you are to clothe it. for life is more than food. and the body more than clothing.
think of the ravens. they do not sow or reap; they have no storehouses and no barns; yet God feeds them. and how much more you are worth than the birds!
can any of you, however much you worry, add a single cubit to your span of life? think of the flowers that grow; they never have to spin or weave; yet, i assure you, not even solomon in all his royal robes was clothed like one of them.
(i can’t help but think, if i just let go, God might clothe me. like dress me up in things outside of our culture, things outside of whats visible. maybe he might dress me up in things that are valuable to him, that maybe he might lavish me in the presence of his Spirit. in joy, hope, peace, adventure, love, confidence, freedom, brilliance, endurance, revelation, vision, and faith.)
maybe thats my story. i think i’ll take it. i’ll take it more than cool clothes or possessions. i’ll trade it all. i want the Father to array me in the things that eternity deems beautiful.
now if that is how God clothes a flower which is growing wild today and is thrown into the furnace tomorrow, how much more will he look after you, who have so little faith! but you must not set your hearts on things to eat and things to drink; nor must you worry.
your Father knows very well what you need.
set your hearts on the kingdom, and these other things will be given to you as well.
there is no need to be afraid, little flock. for it has pleased the Father to give you the kingdom.
our store houses are full.