this past week has been full. with great things. my family and i have been fighting off illness and re-evaluating our rhythm and figuring out what is working for us and what isn’t. i would love to share some of our conclusions.

when you feel like something isn’t right, when things feel difficult, when you are pissed, when you are happy, when you experience anything that causes you to stop and look around…these are the moments that God is speaking to us. listen to him. take in these moments. they will direct your life.

these moments are what we call “kairos moments”. kairos moments happen regularly because God is always communicating to us. its just a matter of listening. and some of us would listen, we just don’t know how. i guess that’s why i am making this blog public. not because i suppose i’m an expert on listening to God, certainly not. but i’ve at least started practicing. and what i do know, i feel compelled to share. listening to God is like a muscle you work out. as time passes and you continue practicing, you get better. and you begin to realize that God really is calling out to you.

if you know me well, you probably know that i’m a bit of a free bird. i don’t like rules, i don’t like structure, i don’t like time restraints, and i don’t really like plans. i love to break rules and i love to rebel. sometimes when people tell me what to do, i almost have to do the opposite. i love relationships, i love connecting, i love being close, i love being with people. all kinds. i love them all. i love babies. oh how i love babies.  i want to snatch each one up and hold them close to me. and i love old people. i love that they have a myriad of stories, experiences, and wisdom tucked away somewhere. i love their wrinkles. i love that when old people shake your hand, they clasp yours with both of their hands and smile with a twinkle in their eye. i secretly want to shake hands like that when i meet people. i’m very relational. (sorry about the tangent)

i am an INFP. to be more exact, i’m an E/INFP. if you have never taken the myers brigg personality test, i encourage you to do so. in fact, i’ll make it easy for you, you can do it right here. it will help you understand more clearly how you have been wired to function. and how other people around you have been wired differently. and that those differences are okay. they aren’t just okay, they’re absolutely brilliant. we need everyone in our little world. every different personality type is essential.

so naturally, i can’t just coast through life being a little INFP without hitting major road bumps. i’ve hit many. someone who doesn’t like structure and rules cannot get too far without realizing something isn’t working! i’m laughing at myself right now. oh the pain of being me…

so back to ben and i’s kairos and re-evaluating our rhythm. both of us are NPs. which make us very relational but very squirrely left to our own demise. we do not naturally coexist with structure and discipline. but oh how we need it.  because ironically, we have all these goals and dreams, yet if we have no structure or discipline, we can kiss those dreams goodbye.  we need structure. kasey johnson says, “the only difference between people who make goals and those who meet them are two simple words: perspective and discipline. my strength is perspective, but my weakness is discipline.

i’ve ben told by mike breen that life consists of different continuums. one of which is a continuum of structure and spontaneity. if we can learn to function in both structure and spontaneity, we will find that we will live successful lives. if you are more structured, you will do well to lean towards spontaneity. if you are more spontaneous, you will do well to lean towards being structured. and if you are like me, a lack of structure might be keeping you from thriving. and if you are too structured, perhaps not allowing yourself to be more spontaneous is preventing you from thriving as well. i used to believe the Spirit of God was all spontaneous. so i would pride myself in my natural ability to go with the flow. this is quite embarrassing. because as much as God transcends all time and will blow all of ourlittle plans to bits if we are putting all our faith and hope in them….he is truly a God of order and a God of sustainable rhythm. you don’t have to look around creation too long to see the cycle of a day, of seasons, and the sustainable rhythm of a an entire ecosystem.

so this is my kairos. ready? if you are a T or a J in the myers brig you will probably giggle at this revelation. : )

i have to trust that God will work through and around the structure that i am placing in my life. my secret fear is that i’m going to miss out on what God is doing, if i let too much structure into my life. this really is not the case. i have to believe that God will honor the structure that i am leaning towards that may put limitations on things that seem wonderful at times.

we invite you to share in our journey. we’ll certainly keep you posted on what structures we are adding to our lives. structure that will be for joy and life, not constraint.


3 thoughts on “structure:spontaneity

  1. please tell me we’re re-instating the 9:30 bedtime. its so much more fun turning into bed around the time of most kids/grandparents when i know two of my favorite people halfway across town are doing the same thing. 🙂

    excited about your revelation. and to see the fruit that comes from that structure! i mean EXCITED! eeee!

  2. So … at YL training a woman put a wonderful spin on the word “constrain”. She used the image of water, a river, really. There are points when it is wide and there are points when the borders move inward and constrain the flow of the water. But what happens at these points of constraint? … the water RUSHES! It is teeming with life and movement due to the borders on it. This is how I’ve been picturing this idea of structure for myself as I’ve been living a similar kairos. And I find that what happens within the borders and restraints I set up is teeming with life and rushing with vibrance. Love it!

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