structure

…..here we go. talking about “boring” things. structure. i see a little cartoon in my head of a little character holding a tiny flag that says “structure” on it. and so i’m going to pretend i’m excited about it, although i’m sure i can’t be too convincing.

its just that structure provides a platform for all things enjoyable. those who like to play (like me) dance upon the coat tails of those who do all the “unimportant” stuff that actually give all of us a space in which to play. i can no longer be a consumer of all people who contribute to the structure in my life. its time to grow a little bit more in structure.

with that said.

i’m always going to naturally lean towards the spontaneous. the spontaneous will always be the most life giving to me. but i need to learn to use my left hand, if you will. please say you will.

what does that mean? well, it means that i have to re-order my life and manage my time. daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. (boo…) i want to be more rounded in this.

so of course i have a plan. i have a few steps that i’m going to establish and reinstate. (yes, anna. we are reinstating our bedtime of 9:00) our plan is to be in bed by 8:30 and read. and maybe a few other things šŸ˜‰ of course, this bedtime will happen 3 days out of the week. which allow for monday nights to stay out late (wahoo) and watch abc reality shows and or venture into kansas city kansas (more on that later).i used to stay up late back in the day. but emri changed things. we had to re-order. not to bore you too much with our reasonings, but to be honest, i don’t do anything exciting after 9:00 unless ben and i are with people. so we should just go to bed. that allows us to wake up at 5:00 am. don’t roll your eyes, please. okay, i guess you can if you want. : ) but this allows me to wake up and drink a big cup of coffee w/whipped cream and plan my day. it gives me time to pray and talk to Jesus. and it gives Him the space to talk to my heart and settle my emotions
….and even equip me for the day. i love being with Him. that space is very real to me. i hear Him in that space. He validates who i am and reminds me that everything is okay. and that i’m not alone. and there is an end of the story that has yet be unfolded. he gives me hope. i think hope is really important. i’m under the impression that we can go through any circumstance if our hearts are hopeful. you can’t fake hopeful. it has to be spoken into you. you can’t conjure up hope. hope comes from God. and that’s why we need Him. we need hope. i need that space so that God can fill my heart with hope. because once emri wakes up, my little distracted mind is filled with noise and the quietness is gone. i’m learning to hear him with other things going on, but with the way i’m wired -i’m just not a good multi-tasker and that morning time is everything to me. two years ago waking up early felt like an impossible mission. now, it happens at least 3 or 4 mornings out of the week. i’m just re-instating the bedtime to ensure rest so that i have energy during the week. so that will be structure #1. (wahoo!). moving on to structure #2, sunday mornings from 8:00 -10:00 am i’m going to plan my weekly menu/grocery list (trying to cook healthier meals). plan our week. (making sure we have time with each other, time with others, and rest) and my to-do lists. (wahoo!) {at this point, i’m starting to feel embarrassed sharing all this, but i will keep going} structure #3, i’m going to plan a rough outline of my day with times and everything. i will not procrastinate the administrative stuff!! (wahoo!) structure #4. ben and i will touch base every sunday afternoon on our weekly plans so they don’t violently crash into each other like usual. (wahoo!) structure #5 ben and i will make sure the house is clean before we go to bed each night.(wahoo!)

so if you are still reading this boring plan. i want you to know that i’ve put these structures in place to break them if i need to. i won’t be bound to them (if that’s even possible for me) at least i have a plan.

with those structures, i also have narrowed down my passions into 4 goals. that way, when things are vying for my time, i can remember the four things that are most important to me, and let the other insignificant and distracting things roll off.

1. develop and share the culture of my household

2. disciple and educate emri

3. maintain health

4. order my home

and there you have it. an attention deficit INFP at hard work to instill structure.

psalms 90:12-17

so teach us to number our days,

that we may present to you a heart of wisdom.

satisfy us in the morning with your lovingkindness,

that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

let your work appear to us,

and let your majesty appear to our children (love that)

let the favor of the LORD our GOD be upon us;

and confirm the work of our hands;

yes, confirm the work of our hands.

***

5 thoughts on “structure

  1. get it girl! cheering you on!!

    and i’ll testify that a clean house/kitchen/empty sink when you go to bed makes SUCH a difference.

    so great! so so so great!

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