i’m sitting here on this beautiful monday morning, snuggled up with my three year old -on our compfy couch under a blanket. we both have our robes on. we’ve been holding hands. i think its incredibly important to reposition your heart and mind before God…specifically in the mornings. for the last year, emri has been watching these sweet, cartoon stories about the life of Jesus. its our way of teaching her to be with God before we start our day. the reality of Jesus has come alive to my daughter. and i think these videos have played a little part. so while emri watches these videos, i get to read my bible. i get distracted with the videos every once in a while. like this morning, she was watching one on the miracles of Jesus. i found myself getting lost in this story. a story that is told in animation, somehow has the power to move me. in the story, two parents take their son, who has cerebral palsy, on a journey to find Jesus and when they do, they lay their son before him. Jesus looks into his eyes with so much love and care. He puts his hands on the boy’s shoulder and says,
“your parents are filled with faith. and you are filled with longing.”
immediately, the boy’s health is restored entirely.
and this little animation has moved me to tears.
i think its because these stories are so very real to me. and i’ve experienced them over and over again. when hurting, broken people find jesus (broken people like me) -it’s amazing to see the way Jesus responds with healing. i continue to see the redemptive work of God all over my life.
God doesn’t always respond in my time in the exact way that i maybe expect. but he does respond. always. and there is not one thing in our lives that is beyond God’s healing and restoration. He lives to redeem every part of our lives. every part that hurts or doesn’t work right.
every second that passes, is one second closer to seeing Jesus. and one second closer to being made whole. i may have strengths, i may have a few things going for me. but do not be fooled. i’m desperately in need of someone to rescue me.
i’ll share with you something about me that is broken.
i have found the most incredible treasure in knowing Jesus. in knowing that Jesus died so that I could be restored and be healed. and not just that i would be restored and healed, but that everyone around me could experience that too. and i have no idea how to share that.
i don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable. i don’t want things to get awkward. i don’t want to force any story that i believe on anyone else. yet, i believe, with all of my being, that this story of redemption is for everyone. and i have no idea how to make it known. so in some ways i just feel stuck. like i feel like i was made to tell this story, but how? is there anyway to do that in a way that is normal? in a way that is down to earth? i’m laughing because i feel like there is just no way to do that in a normal, down to earth kind of way.
ben and i feel like we are kind of at a tipping point. like we are so close to having breakthrough with this part of our brokeness. and if we would stop getting sick long enough to have consistent rest and clarity of mind, then maybe we’ll experience this breakthrough sooner than we think.
we have been contemplating moving to kansas city, kansas. in an area where there just seems to be a lot of need. when you look back at what Jesus taught over the course of his life, he often communicated that its easier for the poor to see the gospel than the rich. i think that’s true. don’t you? when things are going great, and you have everything you “need”, who needs a God you can’t see?
sometimes difficulty in our lives is a blessing. because we finally have a chance to be awakened to our need. we’re reminded that we need God. maybe that’s why Ephesians 3:13 says.
“i ask you not to lose heart at tribulations on your behalf, for they are your glory“
so we’ve been processing what it would look like to live there. to start community gardens. to hold jobs there. to invite people over. to contribute to the economy. to renovate a house. to invite our friends to come with us. what if a whole family of friends moved into the area and it changed a community forever? i’m kind of a dreamer. but wouldn’t that be a amazing?
in other exciting news, emri is walking around in a little t shirt and panties as i type. she has the sweetest wedgie you could ever imagine.