i’m sitting here on my couch this morning. three different versions of the bible on my lap and about four moleskines. emri is dressed as a princess riding her rocking horse.
she asked for her bible while riding her horse.
momma, can you give me my bible please? i need to know where i’m going.
are you freaking kidding me?
it seems like this is the first morning we’ve had at home in a long time.
i’m soaking up time reading and reflecting.
and so i have a new kairos moment:
it seems like the less i read scripture and prayerfully listen to God, the more pressure i put on myself to accomplish things. big things and small things.
let me throw out the quick disclosure that accomplishing things is absolutely necessary. duh. but there are many things i seem to keep putting on my plate to accomplish that distract me from the life i believe God is calling me to live.
there is so much pressure that builds from this long list of things to do that promise to provide me with some form of self worth, identity, or success… and soon i begin to feel the heavy weight from it.
sometimes i have to take inventory of the things that are on my plate. filtering through what i’ve placed in my life, sometimes what my insecurity, fear, and lack of identity have placed on the list, and what God has actually commissioned me and empowered me to do.
the more i spend time with God, the more freedom i feel. i experience real rest. and it feels as if God is just taking the extra burdens off my shoulders saying things like
don’t carry that. you don’t have to. i have something else for you.
the things that God has called me to do, i can do. in fact, the energy that is necessary to accomplish what God has called me to do will be sustainable for my family and i. the energy necessary to accomplish all the extras that i have added will not be sustainable. it won’t work. and i run into this a lot. i’m thankful that God brings me to that point so i can learn how to say no to the rest.
in order to obey God, ben and i have had to learn how to say no to good things. we are aware of our capacity and are aware, more than ever before, of what God is calling us to say yes to.
and often times, when you say yes to something, you have to say no to something else.
when i feel worn out and at capacity this verse always pops into my head.
are you tired? worn out? burned out on religion?
come to me. get away with me. and you’ll recover your life.
i’ll show you how to take a real rest.
walk with me and work with me
watch how i do it.
learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
i won’t lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you.
keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
ben and i live a pretty simple life. we have said no to a lot. and its Jesus that has given us the courage to say no to some of the things our culture presses on us.
but i’ll trade it. i’ll trade it all to learn the unforced rhythms of grace. nothing compares to keeping company with the Lord and experiencing his rest. nothing.