today ben left for his bi-anual reptile camping trip with his students. he always comes back with surprises for emri.
except this time he took emri. and let me tell you. this girl was excited. up at 6:00 am ready to go. i waved goodbye from the door as they headed off to school back pack and bandana in tow. (she gets to sit with him in class while he teaches all day. she is over the moon as you can imagine).
my house was quiet without all the singing and conversation that usually takes place in the morning. my babe was still sleeping. what a moment. i got my coffe. opened up my journal and began meditating on the things that God has been speaking to me.
he is my teacher. god is many things to me. many. i could fill this post with all the things that God has been to me. today i’m praising him for being my teacher. always faithful to teach me. always faithful to tell me which direction to go. my heart can be crazy, i can be in an emotional upheaval and God gives me this gentle response.
“…this is the way. over here. i know you are in pain. i know you are hurt. when you are ready. step here.”
and so in his faithfulness to teach me. he has become my hero. my rescuer. he’s rescued me from so many things. as soon as the door shut, i plopped on my sofa with coffee in hand and began my time with him by thanking him for all the things he’s done in my life. i kept going. the list was long. i left a ton out. i had to pause. my heart began to hurt. it pained me that i often overlook everything wonderful. it pains me that God has been so faithful to me and i’m so busy and disturbed in a moment that i forget. i forget his faithfulness. i forget what he’s done. how tragic. how blind. how broken i must be to have provision after provision (one great provision being a miracle baby) -and still doubt and wonder and throw fits.
god, my teacher, has been listening to all of my prayers. i have many. i have lists. it gets real and long. you would laugh. but i think my list is important to him. i think my desires and my hurts matter to him. something i’ve truly learned… when i pray, he hears me and he responds. that i can know and believe with everything i have. you should take a look into my journal. there are lists of prayers. most of which…truly most of which have been crossed off with dates next to them. the dates are when i saw the answer to the prayer come to fruition. our prayers matter to God. they do. he wants to bring his kingdom into each of our prayers. his kingdom is where everything wrong is made right. his kingdom speaks peace and redemption into every prayer that comes out of our mouth. prayers that come from a deep need or desire in us. a need that God truly created in us. a need or desire that has been thwarted by sin and brokenness. and then comes our God-hero. the rescuer to speak redemption into those places. i will testify right this very second that everything i have ever prayed for, i have truly seen the kingdom of God breakthrough. in some way, the kingdom of God always breaks through. and if i look patiently enough, i see Jesus picking up broken pieces, mending things back together. restoring things back to their original intent. making all things new.
so i pray with urgency.
as i was thanking God for all the things he’s done, i was overwhelmed with gratitude. God has been telling me that the greatest breakthroughs of all…
faith. hope. love. gratitude.
are these not the most valuable commodities of all? what would the world be like if we all had faith, hope, love, and gratitude?
i crave these. i want them so desperately that it makes my heart ache in longing. and i will fight for them. the battle isn’t always pretty. but i will continue to fight.
i want the kingdom to breakthrough. particularly in faith. hope. love. and gratitude.
so whatever the need right now. i promise. heaven will breakthrough. somehow. it will. this i know is true. my challenge? pray believing that if your heart aches over something, God aches too. he will not stop until its made right. pray believing that. surrender to God. not your circumstances. if there is something broken in your life right now, God is not okay with that. he will make it right. perhaps not in the obvious way, but perhaps in a creative, redemptive way.
i say this knowing how tricky this conversation is with balancing the sovereignty of God. but one thing i know. God is a god who rescues. this is the whole story.
this is the gospel!
i’m wearied with all the stories of people surrendering to their circumstances. i hear continually, “this is what God has for me”
if there is brokenness in your life, God does NOT HAVE THIS FOR YOU.
he’s the rescuer!
he’s come to rescue you from brokenness!
all the explanation points = i’m shouting in my heart at you.
pray believing that. he will not stop until everything wrong in your life is made right.
one day it will be made right.
this is the gospel. this is good news.
and until then,
faith. hope. love.
the greatest breakthroughs of all