samuel turns 1

like you, i love spring.

who doesn’t like to bask outside in 50 degree weather after a long, brutal, snowy, winter

and let the familiar warmth of the sun rest on your skin?

i’m looking out my window right now and i see stark bare tree branches against blue skies and bright white clouds. the weather is kind today.

it speaks to me about restoration. healing. and all things new.

ella’s nose is pressed against the window creating smeary slobbery smudges on the widow.

as samuel naps i pray. i pray becaues i can’t not pray. my heart is renewed when i pray. i feel at home when i pray.

and i’m reminded that Jesus is home to me.

i think of john 15:4

live in me. make your home in me just as i do in you.

my home. my safe house. its safe with him. whatever burden i carry. whatever struggle. whatever dark pressing fight. there is no judgement. no pointing. just home. just healing, just redemption, and restoration.

so i get comfortable with jesus. i’m not afraid to go there and expose the dirt in my heart.

because it seems the more i lean into the dirt…the things that need healing…the more freedom and healing i get.

and the more i know jesus.

and nothing compares to knowing jesus. nothing.

he’s rescued my family. he is our hero. he makes us new.

and when i think of new i think of the little 1 year old who is cruising around my living room making the sweetest little noises you could ever imagine. little boys are charming. he looks at me with those long eye lashes and gives me this little coy grin… and its over.

i cannot take it.

samuels birthday was a few weeks ago. so we had a little party.


 our sweet mullet 80s baby


little lila jane…oh my goodness







and as with every birthday that comes along, i make a little video of my children. its our way to celebrate their little lives and reminisce over how far they’ve come.

emri’s heart is so tender towards samuel. she adores him.

and everytime she watches this video she tears up. sweet little thing. i’m reminded of how much this miracle child has blessed not only ben and i, but her.

so here is samuel’s first birthday video.

happy 1st birthday dear one. you were fought for. prayed for. and feverishly loved.


2 thoughts on “samuel turns 1

  1. Hey, I have a question I wanted to ask you regarding your blog. If you could send me an email when you get this, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks!

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